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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569728">Tongue-Tied and Heartbroken</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_h_23/pseuds/a_h_23'>a_h_23</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>5 Seconds of Summer (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Band Fic, Child Abuse, Domestic Violence, F/M, Fist Fights, Fluff, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm, Verbal Abuse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 22:40:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,486</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29569728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_h_23/pseuds/a_h_23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I love you, Ashton. I really do. I've never loved someone so much in my entire life."<br/>"I love you, too, Michael."<br/>And then, everything changed.<br/>-------------------------------------------<br/>Michael Clifford is in love with Ashton Irwin, no matter how hard he tries to convince himself otherwise. The only problem is, Ashton doesn't even know he exists.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ashton Irwin/Original Female Character(s), Luke Hemmings/Original Female Character(s), Michael Clifford/Ashton Irwin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Disclaimer: this story takes place when 5sos was in high school. It takes place in Australia, but the school system is similar to the US because I didn't feel like trying to figure out how Australian schools work. enjoy :))</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He made me feel things I didn't know I could feel. His eyes sparkled when the sunlight hit them just right. His smile lit up the room. Just seeing him made my heart melt. He made me feel warm and fuzzy. He made me feel so many things. But he didn't even know I existed.<br/>The moment I first saw him was one I will remember forever. It was the first day of freshman year. I saw him in the music room playing the drums in black skinny jeans and a cut-off tank top. His hair was falling across his forehead and he did the hottest thing where he bit his lip in concentration. His best friend played bass beside him. They looked like they were having so much fun. I longed to join them, but I was pulled from my thoughts by my best friend, Luke.<br/>Ever since that first day, I couldn't get him off my mind. His brown hair falling across his forehead. The way he smiled while he played. When he was so deep in concentration that he bit his lip. I loved it all. I loved him.<br/>But I couldn't love him. I loved girls. It was the only option. My dad would kill me.<br/>His name was Ashton. I found that out after several weeks of staring and daydreaming. My best friend caught me staring at him from across the lunch room.<br/>"Michael, you dumb fuck, are you even listening to me?" Luke laughed. I blinked a couple times and looked at him.<br/>"Sorry, mate, I must've zoned out," I sighed. Luke looked over his shoulder at where I was staring.<br/>"Ah, you've been caught red handed, Mikey, mate," Luke laughed. "You were staring at one Ashton Irwin, best drummers in our class." Ashton. Damn, did I love his name.<br/>Two years later, junior year of high school, I was still falling head over heels in love with Ashton Irwin. Best drummer in our year. Skinny jeans-wearing, floppy-haired, hot boy who owns my heart. But there was no way I had a chance with him. He had a girlfriend, after all. Emma. She was a total bitch to everyone. Besides, even if Emma weren't in the picture, it's not like Ashton knew who I was. He didn't even know I existed.<br/>"Michael," Luke said, waving his hand in front of my face. I jumped and looked over at him. We were hanging out at his house, his cat, Hamilton, curled up on my lap purring. "You zoned out again, mate," he groaned, flopping back on his bed. I sat on the floor, thinking about Ashton. "Seriously, just talk to the dude already. You're driving me crazy with all your silent pining."<br/>"Sorry, Luke. I'm fine. I'm not even thinking about him."<br/>"You and I both know that's a lie. Listen, I need advice. I really like this girl. Her name is Savanna. But I don't know how to talk to her. I need a wingman. And you're it."<br/>I groaned. "Luke! You know how terrible I am at that shit!"<br/>Luke laughed and jumped off his bed, sitting in front of me and pinching my cheeks. "Aww but you're my best friend, Mikey," he pouted while continuing to pinch my cheeks. I swatted his hands away.<br/>"Stop that!" I laughed, lightly shoving him. "So how exactly do you expect me to help you with Savanna?"<br/>"Well, there's this party-"<br/>"Nope, absolutely not. You know I don't do parties, Luke."<br/>"Please, Michael? Come on, Ashton will be there. We could both get what we want."<br/>"Ashton's with Emma, Luke. Or have you forgotten he chose that bitch over anyone else?"<br/>"Oh, lighten up, Michael," Luke grinned. "I think you can get in Ashton's pants anyway, regardless of the girlfriend."<br/>"This isn't funny, Luke. He doesn't even know I exist. And besides, you know how my dad is. I can't be with Ashton. It's just how the world works."<br/>Luke frowned. "Michael, you know I didn't it like that. You're my best friend. I'll always have your back, mate."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Somehow, I let Luke drag me off to the party that night. I wore black skinny jeans with a plain blue tee. I slid on my docs and Luke drove us to the party. There were already so many people there. I hated it, but I was here for Luke. And he was here for Savanna. I could probably slip out without anyone noticing once Luke found Savanna. Hopefully I wouldn't run into Ashton.<br/>Loud music blared out of the speakers. There were people drinking, dancing, laughing, and making out everywhere. I reluctantly followed Luke through to the kitchen, where we got drinks. I downed mine quickly, needing something to get me through this party. Luke dragged me off the moment he saw a glimpse of Savanna. I reluctantly followed suit.<br/>"Savanna!" Luke called, grinning. The girl stopped and turned with a small smile.<br/>"Hi," she waved. "You're Luke, right?" Luke nodded and I looked in the other direction, searching for the familiar mop of hair I fell in love with. "What's your name again?" Savanna asked, pulling me from my search.<br/>"Michael," I responded. "Luke's my best friend."<br/>"Oh, that's cool." She adjusted her leather jacket and looked at Luke.<br/>"Oh, uh, Savanna, do you want to come dance with me? Only if you want to. You don't have to."<br/>"Sure," Savanna shrugged. She took a shot that someone handed her and dragged Luke deeper into the crowd to dance.<br/>I sighed and began looking around for someone familiar. Particularly the brown haired boy who'd stolen my heart. When I finally spotted him, he was pressing Emma against a wall and making out with her. I tried to hold back my sudden anger and disappointment. I knew he had a girlfriend. I shouldn't even have come. Luke hadn't needed me. He did fine on his own with Savanna.<br/>I went back to the kitchen for more to drink. I did a couple shots with a group of the more popular party kids. I down some various different types of alcohol until I felt buzzed. I stumbled out of the kitchen and ran into Ashton. Literally. I tripped and ran right into him. He caught me by the upper arm and my stomach did flips, which didn't help with all the alcohol.<br/>"Woah, mate, you look totally sick," Ashton laughed, hoisting me up. "I don't think anyone would appreciate you puking everywhere. Why don't we go to the bathroom." He dragged me up the stairs into the bathroom. As soon as we got into the bathroom, I shut the door and pushed him against it, instantly colliding my lips on his. They were so soft. It felt so nice finally kissing him.<br/>He kissed me back for a while. We were full on making out for a solid thirty seconds before he pulled away and looked at me with wide eyes. "I-"<br/>"I'm sorry. Please don't leave. I've been wanting to do that since freshman year," I babbled on drunkenly.<br/>"Okay, mate, you're drunk, and I have a girlfriend. Let's just go our separate ways, and pretend this never happened." He slipped out the door and practically ran down the stairs. I tried to follow him, but ended up tripping on the stairs and falling down, hitting my head and blacking out.<br/>The next morning, I woke up in an unfamiliar place. I sat up in the bed, throwing back the black duvet, and looked around. A drum set sat in one corner of the room, farthest from the door. The walls were off-white. My eyes gravitated back to the drums. ASH X was spelled out in black duct tape. I blinked a few times and looked at the desk against the wall opposite the bed. A framed photograph sat in the corner of the desk, next to a couple notebooks, some pens, and some stray papers.<br/>I got up and walked over to the photograph, picking it up. It was a picture of three kids, from grade school it looked like. I notified the familiar mop of brown hair, laughing. Ashton. I didn't recognize the other two.<br/>I jumped at the sound of the door opening. Ashton stood in the doorway, his hair sticking out in all directions. I wondered to myself what it would like after sex...<br/>"Good, you're awake," he said, stepping inside. "How do you feel? I brought some water for you."<br/>"My head kind of hurts, but other that, I feel fine."<br/>"Good. You should probably go before my girlfriend gets here." I nodded and followed him downstairs to the front door.<br/>I walked home, not bothering to call Luke for a ride. The sun was shining, but the breeze was chilly. It didn't take me long to get home. However, everything went to hell when I walked through the door.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Where the fuck have you been, boy?" my dad growled as he stood across from me with arms crossed.<br/>"I was at Luke's," I lied.<br/>"Don't lie to me, boy. Luke came by this morning looking for you." I bit the inside of my lip. Of course he did. He didn't take me home after the party last night. He must not have known where I ended up. "You'd best give me an answer before I beat it out of you."<br/>"I- I was with someone," I mumbled.<br/>"Speak up, boy! What have I said about mumbling in my house?" His hand collided with my cheek. It stung. I squeezed my eyes shut.<br/>"I was with a friend."<br/>"Who could you have possibly been with? Luke is your only friend."<br/>"His name is Ashton," I said, cowering back against the door. "I crashed at his place last night."<br/>"What have I told you about that gay shit!" my dad fumed. "No son of mine is going to be a fag!" He slapped me again, harder this time. I held back my tears as the skin on my cheek bled from his ring. He aimed a kick at my stomach, and I just had to take it. I was backed against the door. There was no way out of this one.<br/>I took each hit, trying my hardest not to show how much it hurt. It would only make things worse for me.<br/>He grabbed my wrist and threw me against the opposite wall, causing me to hit my head again. I crumpled to the ground as he continued to beat me. "I'll beat the gay out of you if I have to," he growled as he aimed a hard kick at my chest. I couldn't breathe. Everything hurt. There was a pounding in my head. And even then, the only thing I could think about was Ashton. His smile and laugh as he grabbed my arm at the party. The way his lips felt against mine. The soft touch of his hair against my forehead. I longed for it still.<br/>And just as suddenly as before, I blacked out. Ashton's smiling face the only thing I saw. His laugh the only thing I could hear.<br/>When I woke up, I was on my bed. It was the next morning. I'd been unconscious the whole day before and slept through the night. Today I had to go to school. Today I had to face Ashton. Or maybe I wouldn't. I mean, maybe the party was a one time thing. Maybe he'd forgotten about me already. Like I was an insignificant speck of dust on a warm spring day.<br/>Luke's horn honked outside and I jumped out of bed. I threw on a fresh pair of black skinny jeans and a black and white striped shirt. I ran to the bathroom and brushed my hair as Luke honked again. I groaned and quickly put on my shoes, leaving the house. I got in Luke's car and he looked at me.<br/>"You look like shit, man. Was it your dad again?"<br/>"Yeah," I sighed. "I'm fine though. Let's just go."<br/>"Have you eaten today?"<br/>"No," I said slowly. He sighed and handed me a poptart. I took it and ate it on the drive to the school. When we pulled in the parking lot, I saw Ashton and Emma get out of his car. I sighed and looked longingly at his messy brown hair. Emma grabbed his arm and pulled him close, kissing him against the car. My blood boiled. Luke snapped me out of my thoughts as he opened his door and slammed it. I reluctantly got out, still eyeing the couple across the parking lot.<br/>I grabbed my bag and followed Luke up to the school. He immediately found Savanna and wandered off, talking to her excitedly. I glanced over my shoulder and Emma and Ashton walked in. He was wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a red t-shirt. His hair was slightly messy and fell across his forehead. Ashton stopped at his locker, where his two best friends were waiting. Emma kept walking. She bumped right into me and scowled.<br/>"Watch you're going, asshole," she sneered, shoving past me. I gave her a dirty look and made my way to my locker. After I shut my locker, I was cornered by one of Ashton's friends.<br/>"Hey, I'm Maruca," she introduced. "Are you the one from the party with Ashton? You were drunk off your ass and kissed him in the bathroom?"<br/>"I- uh- yeah," I stuttered.<br/>Maruca grinned. "Perfect. I love you already. Listen, you should totally hit that. He talked about you all day yesterday."<br/>"He's with Emma, though," I countered, no matter how much I hated to say it. "I don't stand a chance."<br/>"Sure you do. She's a total bitch, anyway. I've told him so many times he just needs to drop her ass." Maruca looked over her shoulder and grinned at me. "Between the two of us, I've always seen you staring at him. Ever since freshman year. And I like you way better than I like her."<br/>"Maruca! Come on!" Ashton's other best friend yelled from down the hall.<br/>"I gotta go before Cal beats my ass," she laughed. "It was nice meeting the boy Ash couldn't shut up about." She winked and took off down the hall after her friends.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At lunch, I sat with Luke and Savanna. I couldn't help looking over at Ashton the whole time. Maruca caught my gaze a few times and smirked, and everything like she did, I would look away. Ashton was laughing and smiling and talking to Emma and his friends. God I hated Emma. She was a bitch to everyone at school. I didn't know how she managed to get with Ashton. They're polar opposites. She was a prissy bitch, and he was the sweetest person. He cared about everyone. He was funny. He was talented. He was gorgeous. He was everything she wasn't.<br/>"Michael, mate, just talk to him," Luke laughed.<br/>"Well, that's a lot harder than it sounds," I said, fidgeting in my seat. "Consider the events of the party."<br/>"Oh yeah, I couldn't find you afterwards. And your parents said you never came home last night. Where were you?"<br/>"Well, that's a funny story." I glanced across the lunch room at Ashton. "I got pretty drunk after you and Savanna went off to dance and I bumped into Ashton. We sort of kissed in the bathroom. And then he pulled away, said he had a girlfriend and we should forget it ever happened, and left. I tripped down the stairs and blacked out. Next thing I know, I'm waking up in Ashton room."<br/>"Wait, hold on, you kissed Ashton Irwin, and didn't tell me immediately?"<br/>"I guess it never came up," I shrugged. "Besides, I don't have a chance with him."<br/>"You never know unless you try," Savanna pointed out, shrugging. "I heard Ashton and Calum talking in English this morning. Ash and Emma are having some relationship problems right now. So if you're going to do it, today's the best day before their relationship gets back on track."<br/>I ended up taking Savanna's advice. I cornered Ashton in the bathroom during last period. He looked at me with a worried expression.<br/>"You shouldn't be talking to me," he said. "I have a girlfriend. And I thought we were going to forget the kiss ever happened."<br/>"I can't just forget about it, Ashton," I sighed. "I have loved you since the moment I first saw you freshman year. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Trust me, if I would, I could. But I can't. You're always on my mind and I can't make it stop. And if you don't feel the same, that's fine. But I had to tell you how I felt."<br/>"I'm sorry. I have a girlfriend. You should just forget about me," Ashton said before walking out of the bathroom. I sighed and looked in the mirror at my disheveled appearance.<br/>The days wore on slowly. I avoided my dad by staying at Luke's most of the time. But sometimes he was hanging out with Savanna, so I would take walks around town to avoid going home.<br/>I couldn't stop thinking about Ashton. I saw him with his friends, with Emma, laughing and smiling all the time. It was like he'd completely forgotten about my existence. It was like he'd forgotten about the kiss.<br/>I tried to forget, but I couldn't. I couldn't get the taste of his lips off mine. I couldn't forget the way it felt to be pressed up against him. I couldn't forget the way his cologne smelled. I couldn't forget waking up in his room that morning. I couldn't forget the way he looked with bed head and sleep-glazed eyes. I couldn't forget the way he walked away from me, twice. I didn't want to admit it, but I was absolutely, positively, head-over-heels in love with Ashton Irwin.<br/>On one bright November afternoon, I found myself wandering town while Luke was on a date with Savanna. I found myself walking past a usual Ashton hang out. Sure enough, there he was with his friends. They were playing two-on-two air hockey, laughing. Calum was on Ashton's team, and Maruca was with a girl I recognized as Sierra. It was pretty well-known around school that Maruca and Sierra has started dating recently. I wondered to myself why Emma wasn't with them. Usually she was glued to Ashton's hip.<br/>I found out the reason later that evening.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was walking past the school when I saw a familiar figure by the football field. Emma. She was with a guy, kissing under the bleachers. A guy who was not Ashton. They were having a serious make out session. It made my stomach churn. She was cheating on Ashton. Who knows how long that's been going on.<br/>I immediately took off running, back towards where I last saw Ashton. He wasn't there. I walked around, looking for him, for almost an hour before I saw him. He was walking with Calum.<br/>"Ashton!" I called. He glanced over his shoulder, but turned around and kept walking when he saw it was me. I sighed and stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He didn't want to talk to me. I should've known.<br/>I turned around and walked the opposite way. My phone buzzed with a text from Luke.<br/>Where are you? I'll give you a ride back to my place.<br/>When Luke pulled up on the side of the road, I got in the passenger seat. I was silent the whole ride back to Luke's place. "Hey, M, what's up?" Luke asked as we pulled into his driveway. "You're very quiet today."<br/>"Emma is cheating on Ashton," I whispered. "And he won't even look at me."<br/>"What!?" Luke yelled. "She's cheating on him!? How could someone do something like that to the person they're supposed to love. We have to tell him."<br/>"He won't listen to me, Luke! I tried to tell him earlier, but he just ignored me. I fucked everything up, Luke. Maybe my dad was right."<br/>"Michael, no. Stop thinking like that. You can't give up on him." I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn't. They slipped out slowly, dropping onto my lap one drop at a time. Luke reached over and put his hand on my knee. "Michael, look at me." I looked up, tears falling from eyes. "You are my best friend in the entire world. I would do anything for you. I will always have your back, no matter what. And I know you better than I know myself. I know you love him. I can see it. You just have to wait until he's ready to love you back."<br/>All night, I kept messaging Ashton's Twitter. I was praying he would see it and talk to me. He needed to know what I saw. But he didn't. He ignored me all night. Luke tried to comfort me, but it was no use. I'd fucked everything up, just like I always did.<br/>The weekend passed slowly. I hadn't seen Emma or Ashton the whole time. Ashton continued to ignore my messages. I went to school with Luke and he immediately walked off with Savanna. Which was fine. She was perfect for him. But I was once again on my own.<br/>I went to the bathroom first. I hadn't seen Ashton yet, and I was hoping to talk to him alone today. As soon as I was at the door, I heard sniffling. Like someone was crying. I pushed open the door and slowly stepped inside. The door slowly creaked shut behind me, and whoever it was stopped. I rounded the corner to see none other than Ashton Irwin, sitting on the floor with a black eye, crying.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Ashton?" I asked softly, stepping closer. "Are you okay? What happened to your eye?"<br/>"I- I'm fine. It's nothing." He winced as he tried to wipe away his tears.<br/>"You don't look fine," I said, walking over and helping him up. "Let me help you cover it up. I have some stuff in my bag."<br/>I set my book bag on the sink counter and pulled out some stuff I used to cover my black eyes. I cleaned his face and covered the bruising as best I could.<br/>"Who did this to you?" I asked as I covered the bruising around his eye.<br/>"I'm just clumsy," he muttered. "I tripped and hit my eye."<br/>"It doesn't look like-"<br/>"I tripped," he cut off sternly. "That's all. I told you to leave me alone. I have a girlfriend." He sounded like he was saying it more to himself than to me.<br/>"Listen, Ashton, I actually wanted to talk to you about Emma," I said nervously.<br/>"I don't want to talk to you," he said, pulling away from me and grabbing his bag from the floor. "You don't know anything about Emma. She loves me. And I love her." He pushed passed me and starting walking away.<br/>"Emma's cheating on you, Ashton," I blurted.<br/>"What?" He spun around to face me.<br/>"She's cheating on you. I tried to tell you the other day, but you walked away. I saw her kissing some guy under the bleachers by the football field while you were with Calum and Maruca."<br/>"You're lying. She- she wouldn't do that. She loves me."<br/>"I'm sorry, Ashton, but I don't think she does."<br/>"You don't know anything about us. Stop trying to break us up. Leave me the hell alone." His eyes brimmed with tears as he turned and ran out of the bathroom.<br/>Ashton wasn't at lunch that day. And he wasn't in last period English either. I kept going to the bathroom to see if maybe he was still hiding out, but he was nowhere to be seen. All day I worried about him. I was so worried that I threw up a couple times throughout the day. He was in terrible shape when he ran out that morning. I didn't want anything to happen to him.<br/>At the end of the day, I told Luke he could hang out with Savanna. I wanted to take a walk. I didn't tell him about my encounter with Ashton. Or how worried I was about him. I just needed to talk to him. I needed to know he was okay. I needed to know who gave him that black eye.<br/>I found Ashton outside his house. With Emma. It looked like they were arguing. Or at least, Emma was arguing. Ashton just stood there staring at his feet while she yelled. He looked stiff and on edge. I slowly crept closer, trying to stay hidden by bushes and fences, until I could hear.<br/>"Ashton, what the fuck is wrong with you," Emma fumed. "You were supposed to be at school today. Why weren't you? You were supposed to give me a ride after. You fucking asshole." She shoved him and he flinched.<br/>"I- I'm sorry, Emma," he whimpered, hands trembling.<br/>"I don't want your fucking apology. You're a horrible boyfriend. Why can't you do anything right?" She slapped him across the face. My mouth dropped as I watched the scene escalate. She yelled at him more, shoved him a couple times, and slapped him several times. And Ashton took it all. He didn't argue back. He didn't stop her from hitting him. He just stood there, staring at the ground. I wanted so badly to run out and shove her off him. But I couldn't. She couldn't know I was here. No one could.<br/>Ashton wasn't at school the next day. I was worried about him. Especially after everything I saw with Emma yesterday. I didn't know what had happened to him. So I went to his house after school. I walked, so that I wouldn't have to tell Luke what I saw. Sure he was my best friend, but it wasn't my situation to tell.<br/>I knocked on the front door, and Ashton's mom opened it. "Can I help you?" she asked.<br/>"Is Ashton home?" I asked nervously. "I need to talk to him. About school. We're in the same English class."<br/>"Come in, please," she smiled, opening the door. "Can I get you anything to drink?"<br/>"No, thank you," I shook my head.<br/>"Ashton's room is upstairs, last door on the left."<br/>"Thank you." I didn't tell her I already knew where it was. I walked up the stairs and stopped outside the closed door. I heard him playing on his drum set. I knocked softly, hoping he would hear.<br/>"I'm practicing, Mom!" he called. I knocked again. I heard him sigh and the door opened. His eyes were red and puffy from crying. He still had a black eye. "What are you doing here?"<br/>"I need to talk to you," I said. "It's important. And since you don't want to answer my messages, I thought the best way was to come to you."<br/>"Fine." He let me in his room, which was trashed. It was way worse than the last time I'd seen it. "What do you want now?" He closed the door and sat on the chair at his desk.<br/>"I know about Emma. That she abuses you."<br/>"What? No, she doesn't."<br/>"Yes, she does, Ashton," I sighed. "I know you have bruises that you keep hidden from your friends. I know you are terrified someone will find out and make everything worse. I know you don't want anyone at school to know, because they would all make fun of you if they knew. I know you try to distance yourself from people to avoid getting hurt. I saw her hitting you yesterday and yelling."<br/>"How-"<br/>"I came to see if you were okay yesterday," I explained. "I saw you outside with her. She was yelling. I know it wasn't right to spy, but I figured it'd be better for everyone if no one knew I was there."<br/>"You can't tell anyone," he breathed. "She'd kill me if anyone found out. And you can't tell her you know. She'll kill both of us."<br/>"You don't have to put up with that, Ashton. You can break up with her. It isn't right. She abuses you, Ashton."<br/>"It's not like that. She loves me, she just- she has some issues. And I get in the way. I make her mad sometimes. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love me."<br/>"Ashton, it isn't right. She shouldn't hurt you like that."<br/>His phone dinged, and his expression dropped. "You should go," Ashton said. "Please don't come back. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it."</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Now that I knew about Emma, Ashton often confided in me. He was still against the idea that she was abusive, but he came to me with new bruises he wanted help covering. He never talked about where they came from, but I knew they were from her. None of his friends knew the truth. No one did. Only Ashton, me, and Emma. But Emma didn't know that I knew.<br/>Life continued on as normal, though. I still avoided my dad by staying at Luke's most of the time. I still went to school every day. I still caught myself staring at Ashton. I still thought about him every minute of every day. But every morning I would meet Ashton in the bathroom on the far end of the school, the bathroom that no one used. He didn't want anyone to find us out. I kind of liked sneaking around with him in secret, but I hated the circumstances. Instead of sneaking off to kiss, we were sneaking off to cover the bruises given to him by Emma. And every day, they got worse.<br/>I didn't tell Luke about my secret meetings with Ashton. I didn't tell him any more about Emma other than she was cheating on Ashton. He and Savanna had been helping me gather proof against her to show Ashton. He still didn't believe that she would cheat on him. Luke was determined to help me prove that she was no good for him. I let him think that this was the only way Ashton would talk to me. He didn't need to know. Not yet.<br/>Don't get me wrong, I hated lying to Luke. He was my best friend. I loved him like a brother. I told him everything. Everything except this. He couldn't know about Emma. Ashton made me swear to secrecy. So even though I always told Luke everything, this was one thing I was keeping to myself.<br/>I think Luke noticed I was acting different. Like something was going on. Because he confronted me about it at his house after school one day.<br/>"Michael, mate, what's up with you?" he asked. "You've been acting strange. Is it your dad again? Did he do something?"<br/>"No," I said quickly. "I just- I want Ashton to accept the truth about Emma. It isn't fair that she's cheating on him, and he doesn't even believe it." It was only a partial lie, but I still felt bad. I did want Ashton to accept that Emma was cheating on him, but it wasn't what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how it felt watching her abuse him. I was thinking about how I had to meet him in secret every morning to help him cover the bruises. But I couldn't tell Luke any of it.<br/>"Are you sure that's all?" he asked gently. "Michael, I know when something's bothering you. And I can tell that you aren't telling me everything."<br/>"It's nothing," I replied. "I'm just worried about Ashton. That's all." Another partial lie. I was worried about Ashton, just not for the reasons Luke thought I was.<br/>"I know it's tough, mate. We'll figure something out."<br/>As soon as Luke fell asleep that night, I snuck out. I had to see Ashton. I needed to talk to him. This couldn't keep going on. So I walked to his house and went around back, throwing some small pebbles at the window of his bedroom. I didn't want to wake his parents. After a couple times, I saw his figure in front of the window. He opened it up. It was dark, so I couldn't see his face. He was just a dark shadow leaning out the window.<br/>"Michael? What are you doing here? It's 2am," Ashton called sleepily.<br/>"We need to talk."</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Michael, I can't wake my parents," he argued.<br/>"We can go somewhere. Somewhere private where no one has to see us. No one has to know, Ashton. We just need to talk." He hesitated. He sighed. He nodded.<br/>"Okay, fine," he said. "I'll meet you by the garage." I nodded and he closed the window. I walked around through the backyard to the garage. I had to wait a few minutes before Ashton slipped out the side door and closed it softly.<br/>"Come on," I whispered, grabbing his hand and leading him through the dimly lit street.<br/>"Where are we going?" he whisper-yelled.<br/>"Just wait. I know a place." We walked through the streets, avoiding well-lit areas in case someone saw us. We stopped outside the old gas station. It'd been abandoned for awhile now, and no one really came out here. It was too close to the public eye for teenagers to come to do drugs and nobody paid too close attention the dilapidated old building.<br/>"Why are we here?" Ashton whispered.<br/>"I come here sometimes to think. Nobody will bother us here, I promise. Let's go." I led him around the back of the building. I wiggled the jammed door and it creaked open slowly.<br/>"I don't know about this, Michael," Ashton said nervously.<br/>"Trust me," I said, gripping his hand tighter. He bit his lower lip and slightly furrowed his eyebrows. "Ash, you can trust me. It's safe." He took a deep breath and nodded, following me inside. We walked into the back room, out of view from any passerby.<br/>"So what do you need to talk to me about so badly you had to drag me here in the middle of the night?" he asked, sitting in one of the spin chairs at the desk. He propped his feet up on the desk and looked at me. I sat cross-legged on top of the desk, right next to his feet.<br/>"You need to leave Emma, Ashton. She's not good for you. She shouldn't abuse you. She's supposed to love you and care for you. Emma isn't capable of that, Ashton." He sighed.<br/>"I know. I've been thinking about it a lot. I know you're right. I just- I can't. She'll kill me if I try to leave her, Michael."<br/>I placed a hand on his leg. "I'll protect you."<br/>Sitting there in the dimly lit room, barely able to see as we sat across from each other, it felt like we were seeing each other for the first time. Like we were really seeing each other. Ashton put his feet back on the floor and leaned forward. I held my breath as he stood up and stepped closer to me. My heart was pounding in my ears. My stomach was twisting in knots. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly, burrowing his head in my neck. I hugged him back, never wanting to let go. He started sniffling and my shirt soaked up his tears as they fell gently from his eyes.<br/>We stood like that for several moments, me holding him while he cried softly. I wished we could've stayed there forever. But we couldn't. All too soon, he was pulling away and wiping his eyes. I couldn't help but look at his soft lips and wish he would kiss me. But I knew he wouldn't. Not yet. I just waited for him to be ready, and then I walked him home. He slipped back through the side door and I found myself waiting at his bedroom window, hoping he would look at me one last time before I left.<br/>I saw the curtains rustle and move slightly to the side, Ashton's figuring standing at the window. I smiled up at him and waved before walking off, making my trek back to Luke's before he woke up and noticed I was gone. The whole time, I could only think of Ashton. He was so vulnerable that night. I'd never seen that side of him before. I wasn't sure I liked it very much.<br/>I just wished there were more I could do for him.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Get the fuck off me, bitch!" someone yelled in the hallway at school the next day. A huge group of people were gathered. I looked at Luke and we walked over to check it out.<br/>"You fucking whore!" someone else yelled. "You fucking abusive little bitch! You. Don't. Ever. Touch. My. Best. Friend."<br/>I thrusted my bag into Luke's hands while I pushed towards the center. Ashton was standing against the lockers, his face bruised badly, crying. Emma and Maruca were arguing in the center of it all. They kept shoving each other and yelling. I immediately shoved my way to Ashton.<br/>"Are you okay?" I whispered, looking at the bruising. He was still crying and shook his head. "Come on, let's get you out of here," I whispered, grabbing his hand and squeezing it. He nodded and we slid through the crowd. Luke found us when we got out.<br/>"Holy shit," he breathed. There was no getting out of this now. "What the hell happened to you? You look like shit, mate."<br/>"We'll explain later," I said quickly, leading Ashton towards the back of the school. We were headed to our usual hideout. When we got there, I hugged him close and let him cry into my shoulder. Then the door opened. Luke.<br/>"Shit," he muttered. Ashton's arms were wrapped tightly around me and his face was buried in my neck. "What's going on, M?" I sighed.<br/>"Can I tell him?" I whispered to Ashton. He nodded into my shoulder. "Luke, you know Emma's been cheating on Ashton?"<br/>"Yeah," he said slowly.<br/>"Well, she's also been abusing him," I sighed, Ashton tensing up in my arms. "She yells at him and pushes him around."<br/>"How long have you known?"<br/>"A while. Couple weeks."<br/>"And you never told me?"<br/>"I couldn't. Ashton didn't want anyone to know. I wasn't even supposed to know."<br/>Luke was silent. I stood there, holding Ashton to my chest tightly as he continued to cry. I leaned my head against his and closed my eyes. I hated seeing him like this. I only wanted him to smile and laugh. Never cry. It broke my heart every time I saw a tear slide down his cheek. But the only thing I could was hold him and hope it was enough. Especially now. He was trying to cope.<br/>"Ash, are you in here?" The door opened. Calum. "Shit," he sighed. "Ash? Hey, mate, you okay?" I looked at him and shook my head. Calum bit his lip nervously. "Listen, uh, Maruca and Emma got in a fight. It was pretty bad. Maru's fine, but Emma got real roughed up. They had to take her to the ER." He was silent for a moment. "What happened, Ash? I showed up at school and Maruca and Emma were fighting. You were nowhere to be seen."<br/>Ashton shook his head against my shoulder, body trembling. I looked at Calum. "Emma was abusing him," I replied softly. "He didn't want anyone to know."<br/>"Ashton," Calum sighed. "You should've told me. I'm sorry, mate. What can I do?" Ashton was silent.<br/>"Ash? You're okay. I'm right here," I whispered.  He slowly released the hug, hand immediately moving to grab mine. He looked up at Calum, who gasped at the sight of the nasty bruise on the side of his face. Ashton's face was splotchy and red, his eyes puffy and bloodshot. All from crying. The shoulder of my shirt was soaked through. But I didn't care. Ashton needed me.<br/>"I- I don't know what to do," he cried. "It's been so long. I- I'm lost without her."<br/>"Ash, look at me," I said gently, pulling his face close to mine. "She was abusive and controlling. She manipulated you. She made you think that you would be nothing without her, but you are everything without her. Ashton, I love you. I think you are perfect just the way you are. And she was only trying to make you someone else."<br/>The next thing I knew, Ashton was leaning in closer until he smashed his lips on mine and kissed me with so much force and passion and love. And I kissed him right back, right there in the disgusting boys bathroom at the far end of the school.</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After a few days of confusion and many questions, Ashton and I officially started dating. Everyone in the school knew about us, and we weren't ashamed of it. We were always together. Usually we hung out at his house. If we weren't there, we were out somewhere. Usually his parents were home, and I had become good friends with them. Ashton thought it was embarrassing that his parents were always hanging around, but I kind of liked it. They accepted me into their family and treated me like I was more than just Ashton's high school boyfriend.<br/>"Hey, M?" Ash asked one day while we were walking through town, holding hands.<br/>"Yeah?"<br/>"Why don't we ever go to your house? We're always at my place or out somewhere."<br/>"Well, my dad isn't exactly super accepting," I shrugged. "I just didn't want to put you through his rants and shit." I didn't tell him the truth. I didn't tell him that my father was an abusive, homophobic asshole. He nodded, but I wasn't sure he was totally convinced.<br/>That evening, as the sun was setting, Ashton drove us to the top of a hill in the countryside a few miles outside town. He spread a blanket on the hood of his car and we sat there, watching the sun set and holding hands. I leaned my head against his shoulder and smiled. Ashton was perfect in every way. I loved him so much. I had loved him since freshman year, when I was too afraid to say anything to him. When the sun had set and the stars were coming out, Ashton got in the trunk of the car and pulled out a bottle of wine and two cups.<br/>"I nicked it from my aunt's place this morning," he grinned, getting the corkscrew and opening the bottle. "She won't notice its gone." He poured some in each cup and handed one to me. We sat there for hours, sipping on the wine and stargazing. When my phone buzzed, I jumped a little. I picked it up and my eyes widened.<br/>"Shit," I muttered.<br/>"Is everything okay?" Ashton asked, worried.<br/>"I- I need to get home. I need to call Luke. My dad can't know I was with you." I immediately pulled up Luke's number and called him, my heart racing and my stomach churning.<br/>"Get in, I'll give you a ride," Ashton said.<br/>"No, Luke needs to take me home. My dad will flip his shit if he knows we're together."<br/>"Hey, M, how's the date going?" Luke asked happily when he finally picked up the phone.<br/>"I need you to come get me, Luke," I said quickly, scrambling to find all my things. "My dad texted me and he wants me home. He can't know I'm with Ashton."<br/>"Shit, okay, I'm with Sav right now, but we can pick you up and take you home. Where are you?"<br/>"I can drive you back into town," Ashton offered. "Since you won't let me drive you home."<br/>"Just meet me at the bakery on the edge of town, Luke," I said, nodding to Ashton. "I'll be in Ash's car."<br/>"Okay, we're headed that way. And Michael?"<br/>"Yeah, Luke?"<br/>"It'll be okay."<br/>"I hope you're right."</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was nervous the whole way back to town. I kept bouncing my knee and fidgeting with my hands. Ashton kept glancing over at me. I knew he was worried about me. He didn't know what I was going home to. He rested his hand on my knee to make it stop bouncing. I took a deep, shaky breath.<br/>"What's wrong, M?" Ashton asked. "You're scaring me. I've never seen you this nervous."<br/>"It's nothing," I said softly. "I just need Luke to take me home." I tried so hard to hold back my tears. I knew what was waiting for me at home. And I didn't want Ashton to be apart of it. He'd gone through enough with Emma. I kept telling myself I was doing it to protect him. I was keeping him safe. I was keeping him out of all the danger my father could put him in. Because if anything happened to him, I wouldn't be able to keep living.<br/>Ashton pulled over next to the bakery, and Luke's car was waiting for me. I turned to open the door and get out, but Ashton stopped me. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back a little. I turned my head to look at him, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. His face held all kinds of worry. He grabbed my face and kissed me, hard. It got heated quickly, but I couldn't stay, no matter how much I wanted to. I reluctantly pulled away.<br/>"I'm sorry. I- I have to go."<br/>"Be careful, please. Call me later, so I know you're okay." I nodded and got out of the car, sending one last look to my boyfriend, who was worried about me. It was still hard to believe that I had someone who worried about me. I mean, I've always had Luke, but that's different. He was my best friend. He had always been my best friend, and he had always worried about me. Especially when I was home with my dad.<br/>I got in the backseat of Luke's car, my vision blurring with tears as we drove away from Ashton, who didn't know what I was going home to. The radio was off. Everyone was silent. Savanna didn't know about my dad, but I guessed that she sensed the mood because she stayed silent. When he pulled into my driveway, he turned back to look at me.<br/>"It's going to be okay, Michael," he said, just as unconvinced as I was. "We'll stay for a few minutes in case you need us. If anything comes up at all, don't hesitate." I nodded and got out of the car, making my way up to the front door. I slowly opened it, and stepped inside.<br/>My dad was waiting for me. He was holding a small stack of something in his hand. He looked furious. As soon as the door was shut, he slapped me across the face with his free hand.<br/>"I thought I fucking told you about that gay bullshit," he growled.<br/>"I- I don't know what you're talking about," I said quietly.<br/>"Don't fucking lie to me, faggot!" He slapped me again, and I whimpered. It hurt so much.<br/>"I'm not, I promise! Please stop!" I begged, closing my eyes and bracing for every hit.<br/>"If you aren't a fucking fag, then explain this bullshit." He thrusted the stack in his hand towards me and I took them carefully. My eyes widened in surprise. Shit.<br/>They were pictures. Pictures of Ash and I. Pictures of us laughing in the halls, holding hands, eating in town, hugging. Even some of us kissing...<br/>"I- I-," I struggled to find the words to explain this to him. He had proof. There was no way I could get out of this. He hit the stack of photographs from my hands, sending them sprawling across the floor. My eyes filled with tears as I thought of Ashton. He was so worried about me. But he couldn't know the truth. Not after everything he went through.<br/>I was thrown against the wall. I was punched, slapped, and kicked. But I couldn't fight back. It would make things worse. And I needed to be with Ashton. I loved him.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything stopped when the door swung open. At first I thought it was Luke. But I quickly recognized the skinny jeans and hoodie. I recognized the messy brown hair and sparkly eyes. Ashton. Why was he here? Did he follow us? Why did he come inside? He needed to get out. Now.<br/>"Ash, no!" I called. "Go! It's not safe for you here!" I was on the verge of all my tears spilling out. I couldn't let him stay here. I couldn't let anything happen to him.<br/>"Michael," he breathed, running over to me.<br/>"No, you can't be here," I said. "You need to go. Right now, Ash. Please."<br/>"So you're the fag that's been forcing yourself onto my son," my dad growled.<br/>"Excuse me?" Ash asked, turning towards my dad.<br/>"Ash, please. Just go home."<br/>"What's going on, Michael?" Ash asked. He looked worried and confused. His eyes held so much concern. Concern for me.<br/>"Ash, please, just go home," I begged. "It's not safe. Please."<br/>"I'm not leaving you, M," Ashton said sternly.<br/>My dad drew back his fist, ready to punch Ashton. I pushed him out of the way and threw myself towards my dad, taking the full hit. He was furious. He grabbed Ashton by the arm and dragged him towards the door. Ashton fought against it, but, in the end, he wasn't strong enough. He was thrown right out the front door, falling onto the pavement. The door slammed shut and my dad turned to me.<br/>"No, please, I didn't know he was coming," I begged. "I promise, I was with Luke all night. I didn't even know he knew where I lived. I promise."<br/>My efforts were pointless. I got a major beating that night. But I didn't black out this time. When I got up the next morning, I slipped out of the house before my dad woke up. I took my things and ran all the way to Luke's. I climbed up the tree next to his window and tapped on the glass. He looked up from his guitar, and relief flooded his face. He immediately came over to open the window.<br/>"God, you scared me last night, Mikey." He moved so I could climb into his bedroom. "Listen, mate, I tried to stop him," Luke sighed. "Ashton. He showed up while we were leaving. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. I'm sorry, Michael. I know you didn't want him to find out."<br/>"It's okay," I breathed. "I don't think he got hurt. I- I just didn't want him to know. I wanted to keep him safe."<br/>"Have you talked to him?"<br/>"No. I- Luke, I'm scared," I admitted. "I don't want to lose him, but I don't want him to get hurt either."<br/>"You need to talk to him, mate. He's probably upset you didn't tell him the truth. Michael, if you don't want to lose him, you need to talk to him."<br/>I called Ashton. He picked up immediately. "Thank god. I was so worried about you. You were supposed to call me last night. I thought you were dead. God, Michael, you can't scare me like that." He sounded close to tears. "I can't lose you. You aren't allowed to leave me, okay? You have to call next time."<br/>"I know. I'm sorry. Please don't cry, Ash. I meant to call you, I just- I was scared," I sighed. "I don't want to lose you, Ash."<br/>"You are never going to lose me, Michael."</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few days later, Ashton dragged me from Luke's house to go on a date. He claimed he had the perfect day planned, and there was no time to waste. I dressed casually, because Ashton said we weren't going anywhere fancy. I got in his car and he drove a short distance to a nearby park.<br/>Ashton grabbed a bag out of the backseat and grabbed my hand, leading me through the trees to a small clearing. He set down the bag and opened it, pulling out a blanket. "I made a picnic lunch for us," he grinned, laying down the blanket and sitting down. I sat beside him as he pulled out several containers of food. Sandwiches, chips, fruit, and cookies.  "It's not much, but I thought it'd be nice for us to be alone, where no one could find us."<br/>"It's perfect," I smiled, looking over at my grinning boyfriend. He was so proud of himself for putting together a picnic lunch and planning a whole day for us to be together. I loved him so much.<br/>After our picnic lunch, Ashton said he had even more planned. We would be together all day. And no one could stop us. Ashton didn't want to hide our love. He wanted everyone to know about us. Which was strange, considering he used to never know I even existed. We walked through a beautiful botanical garden, looking at all the pretty flowers. Ashton even got distracted while watching a blue butterfly flutter through the air and land on a flower. I smiled and took pictures of him acting like a little kid. It was the cutest thing.<br/>Ashton would run ahead, laughing and smiling and dancing around. Then he would stop and look back, making sure I was still there and waiting for me to catch up. I loved watching him have fun and being whoever he wanted to be.<br/>After the botanical garden, we walked through town and went into a few of the shops and stuff. Ashton wouldn't let go of my hand the entire time. When dinner time rolled around, he took me to our favorite place: a small, local, family-owned diner. We ordered our usuals: a cheese burger each, fries to split. Ashton got a strawberry milkshake, no cherry. I got vanilla, extra whipped cream. We ate, and laughed, and talked, and joked. It was just another great date with the love of my life.<br/>Just when I'd thought that was the end of an amazing day, Ashton had one last surprise. The sun was setting. He drove us to the beach. We laid out the blanket from our picnic and sat there, watching the sun set on a quiet beach that he'd found. He grabbed my hand and leaned his head on my shoulder, smiling at the colorful sky as the waves lapped the shore in front of us.<br/>"Come on, let's get in the water," Ashton grinned, jumping up.<br/>"Ash, I don't know-"<br/>"Oh come on!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the water, splashing in. The water was cold.<br/>"Ashton!" I squealed, jumping back from the cold ocean water.<br/>"Let's go," he laughed, pulling me back in. We splashed around in the shallow water as the sun set in front of us. As it got darker, we curled up on the blanket. He pressed a hard kiss to my lips, tangling his hands in my hair and pulling me closer than I thought possible. We were so entangled in each other, enjoying the time we had alone. My life had never felt so right, and I knew I wanted to be with Ashton forever. He was the only person I could ever love.<br/>As we laid on the blanket that night, stargazing, I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. I never wanted to let go of him. Everything felt so right with him next to me. I couldn't help but look at him, his eyes shining in the pale moonlight. He caught me staring at him, and looked deep into my eyes.<br/>"I love you, Ashton. I really do. I've never loved someone so much in my entire life."<br/>"I love you, too, Michael."<br/>And then, everything changed.</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As I came too, I was not where I thought I would be. Instead of laying on a blanket on the beach, I was in a beige room in a bed. Instead of Ashton lying next to me, Luke was sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Machines beeped around me. My throat was dry and my body was stiff. Where was Ashton? Where was I? I didn't know anything.<br/>Luke looked up and gasped, his eyes filling with tears. He jumped up from his chair and hugged me tightly, crying. "Oh my god, you're alive," he cried into my shoulder.<br/>"What-"<br/>"Shhh, don't try to talk, Michael. Let me get you some water." He leaned over to the small table next to me and pour some water from a pitcher in a cup. He stuck a straw in it and held it to my mouth so I could drink. I took a few small sips, swallowing hard.<br/>"Where am I?" I asked.<br/>"The hospital. You've been in a coma, Michael. I'm so sorry. I should've been there."<br/>"How long?" I asked, terrified of the answer.<br/>"Nine months."<br/>And just like that, my world crumbled down around me. All that time with Ashton, all those feelings and moments, were never real. None of it had ever happened.<br/>*flashback*<br/>//third person pov//<br/>Michael took every hit. His dad was furious. He grabbed Michael's wrist and threw him against the wall. The only thing Michael thought of before he blacked out was Ashton. The way it felt to kiss him at the party. Waking up in Ashton's room the next morning. Ashton's sleep-glazed eyes and bed head. And suddenly, he blacked out.<br/>Instead of waking up in his room the next morning, he never did. Luke found him bruised and bloody, knocked out on the floor next to the wall he'd been thrown against. Michael was hardly breathing, and he wasn't responding to Luke. He wouldn't wake up. So his best friend called an ambulance.<br/>The doctors couldn't help him. He was set up in a room, all his broken bones set in casts and his cuts tended to. For nine months, Michael laid in that hospital bed in a coma. For nine months, Luke never left his side.<br/>//Michael POV//<br/>I began to cry. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. All that time I'd spent with Ashton was just a dream while I was in a coma. Ashton had never been abused by Emma. They never broke up. I never helped Ashton through everything. Ashton never kissed me in the boys' bathroom. We never started dating. Nothing was real. I was immediately taken back to the first time I'd seen him. I could never forget that moment.<br/>It had been the first day of freshman year. I had seen him in the music room playing the drums in black skinny jeans and a cut-off tank top. His hair was falling across his forehead, and he had done the hottest thing where he bit his lip in concentration. His best friend had been playing bass beside him. They had looked like they were having so much fun. I had longed to join them, but I remembered being immediately pulled from my thoughts by Luke.<br/>The doctors had released me a couple days later as I hid my feelings from the world. I stayed home most of the time. I didn't talk to anyone. I was depressed. My life without Ashton was something I had never wanted to go back to. It was so lonely being without the one person you loved.<br/>I decided, then and there, that I never wanted to live without Ashton. It wasn't the life I wanted. And there was no way it any of it was ever going to happen. So I did the only thing I could think to do.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>//Luke's POV//<br/>
Everything fell apart when Michael was in that coma. I didn't have my best friend. I didn't go to school. Savanna tried to be there for me, but even she was having a hard time. I knew I was being difficult. I knew I was pushing everyone away. But my best friend was in a coma. A coma that his father put him in. However, nothing could've prepared me for what would happen.<br/>
Michael wasn't answering his phone, or the door. I knocked and knocked. I called and texted. I yelled for him. No answer. The door was unlocked. I went inside. Up the stairs. Knocked on the bedroom door. No answer. Called his name. No answer. Turned the knob. Locked. My stomach dropped, and my heart beat faster, blood rushing in my ears. I knocked hard. Pushed against the door. Yelled more. Nothing. I kicked the door as hard as I could. More than once. Finally, it opened. And there he was.<br/>
His phone was in his hand, opened to Ashton's instagram on one of his pictures. A note was on the desk, tear-stained. Michael was on the floor, eyes closed. And my world was over.<br/>
Blood was everywhere. His wrists sliced deep. I held back my vomit as I tried not to cry. He wasn't breathing, wasn't moving. I checked his pulse. Nothing. I was too late. Michael was dead.<br/>
My heart hammered as I walked to his desk, picking up the note written in his scrawled handwriting.<br/>
"Luke,<br/>
I'm sorry. You were the best friend I have ever had. I love you, mate. But I couldn't do it. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I wasn't good enough. I'm sorry I didn't talk to you. I'm sorry for everything you have to go through because of me. But I just couldn't do it any longer.<br/>
You probably want an explanation. You're probably asking yourself why I did it. Why you weren't good enough to help me. But you were. You were good enough, Luke. The problem was that I wasn't.<br/>
While I was in a coma, I had a dream. Such a vivid, beautiful dream. I was with Ashton, and we were happy. He was everything to me. And I was everything to him. We were supposed to be together forever. But it was all just in my head. None of it was ever real. I just couldn't go on, Luke.<br/>
He was never mine, but losing him broke my heart."<br/>
I stared at the words written on the paper, repeating them in a low whisper as tears rolled down my cheeks.<br/>
"He was never mine, but losing him broke my heart."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! This is the end of this story, and I hope you enjoyed it :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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